GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
