I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
