I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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