wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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