i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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