i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
