Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
