ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
