I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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