I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
