When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
