I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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