you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He better not be in your backpack
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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