I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i will never coherently bang her
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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