I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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