Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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