I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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