You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
