Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
