Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
