im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
