Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
