Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
