i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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