I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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