how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
