PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
