after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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