party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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