He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
