Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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