I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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