my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Idk if I want to put a bra on
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
