I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
