Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I will be naked everywhere
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize