dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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