Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
