She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
