paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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