I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My pussy is not your playground.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
