watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
