He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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