Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I love you. Go after that dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
