I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
