I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Vodka?
Forever.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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