playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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