So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
