I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
