I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize