Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
