He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
