Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
