i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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