This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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