i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's shark week go big or go home
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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