I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
