Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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