I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize