Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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