I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
