He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize