I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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