he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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