So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
