Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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