I smell stomach acid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
