AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
